• Author:Ben Jones
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It’s that time of the year……

…….of peace and goodwill to all men; of excited children’s faces when they realise that Santa has been; of the magic of the nativity story, handed down from generation to generation. It is also the time of year when you buy your annual copy of the Radio Times; you play board games or charades for the first time in twevele months (unless you are very middle class); and you get excited about another chance to see the Royle Family when Denise is pregnant (“Jesus”).

But most importantly, it is the time of year to indulge in that most British of  yuletide traditions and argue about which is the best Christmas song ever – and indeed if some songs (The Spice Girls 2 becomes 1 and Stay Another Day for example) are actually Christmas songs. Just for the record, they are (sadly) as both were released and were No 1s at Christmas. It doesn’t have to mention snow to be a Christmas song!

To save you a lot of bother this year I have compiled a list below to put the debate to bed. You’re welcome.

Firstly, let me say, another who mentions Mariah Carey in this context will be off my Christmas card list. Most overrated Christmas song ever. And don’t get me started on Slade or Wizzard!

In no particular order (unit the end) here goes;

Band Aid – if nothing else, for Bono’s line.

Driving Home for Christmas – Rea. The M6. I say no more.

In Dulci Jubilo – yes, you heard that right – a classic

Saviour’s Day – for pure Christmas comedy. You’ve got to have one Cliff in there for all the Mums!

O Holy Night – Groban. In my top three.

Mary’s boy child – the Harry Belafonte version – magnificent.

Wonderful Christmastime – Macca in trainers at his most cheesy. Yes, even cheesier that the Frog Chorus, which is actually genius.

A Spaceman Came Travelling – weird but brilliant. The key change in the last chorus – oh yes!

The Power of Love – a great song at any time of year. Johnson. Legend.

The Holly and The Ivy – lovely stuff.

Peace on Earth – Little Drummer boy – pray silence for Bing Crosby and David Bowie. That cardigan.

But course, there can only be one winner. Do I really need to tell you? If you don’t agree, you are simply wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Merry Christmas!

It was Christmas Eve babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me, won’t see another one
And then he sang a song
The Rare Old Mountain Dew
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you

Got on a lucky one
Came in eighteen to one
I’ve got a feeling
This year’s for me and you
So happy Christmas
I love you baby
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true

They’ve got cars big as bars
They’ve got rivers of gold
But the wind goes right through you
It’s no place for the old
When you first took my hand
On a cold Christmas Eve
You promised me
Broadway was waiting for me

You were handsome
You were pretty
Queen of New York City
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
Sinatra was swinging,
All the drunks they were singing
We kissed on a corner
Then danced through the night

The boys of the NYPD choir
Were singing “Galway Bay”
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day

You’re a bum
You’re a punk
You’re an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it’s our last

The boys of the NYPD choir
Still singing “Galway Bay”
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day

I could have been someone
Well so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you
I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Can’t make it all alone
I’ve built my dreams around you

The boys of the NYPD choir
Still singing “Galway Bay”
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day

#ben2b40

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